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The 12 Strangest Classified Ads Ever Posted

09/02/2017 Tips

Classified ads have been around for a long time. They were one of the most popular ways to advertise things before the internet existed. 

 

Over the years, some ads that have been posted have been fairly unusual; some have been downright bizarre. Most are probably joke or prank ads, but you never know for sure.

 

Here are some of the weirdest classified ads that have ever been published.

1. Used Tombstone

 

People sell used items all the time. On Kupatana, people often sell used iPhones, cars, bookcases, and a number of other popular items.

 

However, you would probably never expect someone to sell a used tombstone. Yet, that’s exactly what one advertiser did. Here is what the ad said:

 

“Used Tombstone. Perfect for someone named Homer Hendel BergenHeinzel. One Only.”

 

This ad was bizarre for a number of reasons and raised several questions:

 

  •  Why did someone have a used tombstone lying around? 
  •  Did the deceased not actually die like expected? 
  •  Was the tombstone stolen?
  •  Did they really expect someone to purchase a used tombstone?

 

The ad looks like it was written many years ago so it’s probably too late to track down the seller and ask for more details – that is, if the whole thing wasn’t just a prank, which seems very possible.

2. Encyclopedia Set

 

One man advertised that he was selling his old encyclopedia collection. There isn’t anything particularly odd about that, because many people don’t really need encyclopedias anymore in the age of the internet.

 

However, the reason for the ad was particularly interesting: “No longer needed. Got married last week. Wife knows everything.”

 

Of course, the latter part of his ad was likely just a joke, although it’s not certain if his wife would have found it funny. The advertiser may just not have needed his encyclopedias anymore, since he could look up anything that he needed online. It’s also likely that his new wife was complaining about how much space they took up and was pressuring him to be more of a minimalist before moving into their new home.

 

However, it may not have been sarcasm at all. He may have actually married a prodigy who could tell him everything.

3. Real Mustang

 

Mustangs are very popular cars in North America. A mustang is also a breed of horse.

 

One advertiser tried to be witty when selling their horse. They used terminology that made it sound like they could be selling either a car or horse. The only way that you would know with any certainty they were talking about a horse was if you looked at the picture next to the ad.

 

“I am selling my mustang. It is a good gas saver and I just got some new hooves on her. If you’re looking for something cheap and reliable, this is it! All you need is water and carrots and you’re ready to ride. Mustang is stock, no aftermarket parts, all original. This 1hp will get you far!”

 

This was a silly ad, but it may have received a number of replies. Many potential buyers may have wanted to ask whether the advertiser was selling a car or a horse.

4. Woman Offering Either Her Boyfriend or Her Cat

 

Many men aren’t cat lovers. This can create problems if they are in a relationship with a woman who loves them.

 

One man said that he couldn’t live with his girlfriend’s cat anymore. He said that either the cat would have to go or he would.

 

This woman found a creative way to handle the problem. Rather than just giving the cat away, she created an ad and gave readers the option of taking her cat – or her boyfriend.

5. Grooms Wanted for Twin Daughters

 

Many fathers are desperate to marry off their daughters. Some are apparently desperate enough to advertise for a groom in the classifieds.

 

One Indian man listed an ad for grooms for his 25-year-old twin daughters. The first daughter was an assistant professor of biotechnology in Kerala. The other daughter was a Sr. Research Fellow for the Indian government in Bangalore.

 

The two women were obviously very bright, but for some reason their father still had trouble finding them husbands. It would be interesting to find out how many offers he received. He didn’t share any pictures of his daughters, which may have made it more difficult to get replies.

6. Two Singles Looking for Love in the Same Newspaper

 

People often give mixed messages when they are entering the dating scene. In the days before online dating, some single people would look for love through the classified ads.

 

One man wrote a two-sentence classified ad, but somehow managed to contradict himself. Here is what it said:

 

“Easygoing, athletic, [single man] 41. Seeking [single woman], looks not important, must be tall, slim and attractive.”

 

This man may have been making an odd attempt at humor, but it’s most likely that he just didn’t think it through very well.

 

This ad was posted right below a classified ad from a woman who was also looking for love. She said that she was looking for a man who enjoyed sports, but clarified that this was “not important.” If it wasn’t important, then why did she mention it in the ad?

 

These people probably should have proofread their ads better. Sending mixed messages probably wasn’t helping their love lives at all. Hopefully, they figured it out – or, they were just being silly.

7. Woman Calls Out Her Friend and Sister Over Intended Marriage

 

Most people pay for classified ad space to buy or sell something. However, some people use it to make bold statements that they are too passive to make in person.

 

One woman named “Dawn” decided to use the classified ads to insult a friend named “Lester” for trying to discourage her from getting married. She also referenced her “dysfunctional sister” in the ad.

8. Former Drug Dealer Looking for Work

 

Getting a job after earning a criminal record for selling drugs isn’t easy. One recently paroled Ontario convict decided to advertise in the newspaper for a job.

 

“Having successfully completed a 10-year sentence, incident-free, for importing 75 tons of marijuana into the United States, I am seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and my family.”

 

The convict also went into a lot of detail about his business background. He cleverly mentioned that he operated a multi-vessel fishing business, owned an airplane, and oversaw 120 employees. He referred to himself as an executive-level manager and co-owner of a successful marijuana smuggling business that generated over $100 million a year.

 

The convict pointed out that he took responsibility for his actions, while others escaped prosecution for testifying against him.

9. Belly Button Lint Collection

 

One man actually advertised a belly button lint collection. Buzzfeed rated this as one of the most bizarre classified ads of 2013.

 

“I have a collection of belly button lint, will trade for muscle car, Harley rifles, gold coins, work, also or make cash offer. Also intereste in motor cycles, no lowball serious only willing to split if you don’t have what im looking for,”

 

His post is so bizarre that it sounds like a joke. However, since the spelling and grammar were so terrible, there is a strong possibility that he was just a strange person that really intended to sell his belly button lint collection and cash in on the oddity of it.

10. Surgeon With No Experience

 

Many people are willing to hire someone without any prior experience. However, it isn’t very reassuring when they are looking to hire an inexperienced surgeon.

 

Nevertheless, that is exactly what one advertiser requested.

 

“Surgeon wanted for a new health clinic opening in the area. No experience needed. Must have own tools.”

 

Hopefully they chose to hire a surgeon who was at least licensed. They should have advertised the name of their new clinic so people would know to avoid it if they wanted decent care.

11. Outdoor Nativity Scene Without Jesus or His Parents

 

Nativity scenes are very popular around the holidays. One advertiser tried selling one for 100 

USD.

 

There was only one catch – it didn’t have figurines of Jesus, Mary, or Joseph. In other words, it wasn’t really a nativity scene at all.

 

They may have expected the buyer to provide the Jesus, Mary, and Joseph figurines on their own. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a very reasonable assumption, because most stores only sell nativity scenes in full sets.

12. Advertiser Needs Artist to Create Pop-Tart Mural

 

Pop-Tarts are a pastry that is sold in the United States. They aren’t highly popular these days, but some people still buy them. Some people are actually obsessed with them.

 

One advertiser admitted that they had a very peculiar fascination with Pop-Tarts. They requested an artist to help create a mural out of them. The title of their ad was “Work of Tart.”

 

They didn’t specify how large the mural would be, what credentials the artist needed to hold, or how much they intended to pay. The entire post was dedicated to their strange fixation with their favorite sugary confection and their lifelong desire to create an artistic masterpiece with them. 

 

Have You Ever Seen Any Bizarre Ads?

You probably see lots of ads every day, but most don’t stand out, since they aren’t particularly strange. If you ever see any that may belong on this list, we hope you find them entertaining.

 

 

Image: Flickr